I really miss having independence in small things. While away at Brown, I was able to chose what food I ate at every single meal. I could take a shower without asking five of my family members if they needed to first. I was able to walk or take public transportation everywhere I needed with ease.
I was living in a Utopia where almost everything was free and accessible to me, where the average human being was a passionate, friendly learner, where I had limitless interesting people to hang out with at all times of day, where there were vegetarian options at every meal, and where my world was an Ivy League University with bright green grasses and clean, cared-for buildings.
|The Charles River, near Harvard|
I am so excited to go to college, and have four years of what I hope will be similar. My professor gave me hopes that I will have four years of being taught in a personal, honest, thoughtful, and helpful way. My TA Tory gave me hopes that I will someday be a good time manager, and that I will be as friendly, caring and knowledgeable as she. My fellow students gave me hopes that my college classes will be full of students who are engaged, respectful, hardworking, passionate, and able to teach me as much as the class.
I learned so much about gender, feminism, intersectionality, privilege, being an ally, leadership, listening, leadership styles, women, and our society. I am not an expert. What I learned has only scratched the surface of what I plan to learn. I now have an insatiable hunger to learn everything about these topics.
I entered Brown with a planned summer reading list with only about three books left. I got on the plane home with about twenty-three more books tacked on the end, all recommended by my professor, my TA, guest speakers, and new acquaintances. I know I won't be able to start any of them with less than three weeks of summer left, and this greatly annoys me.
Here is a video that was played on the last day of Leadership Institute. It was created by our leader fellows. I recommend making it full screen.
One thing that was emphasized to me by many of the college students I talked to, whether at a school we toured or at Brown, was that I should go to a school that will make me happy. This seems like such an obvious quest, yet, I feel like I often forget that happiness is all I really want.The past twenty-four hours I have spent researching colleges and trying to decide on my final application list. It has made the process quicker and easier to ask myself: "Will this make me happy?"
I love the East Coast, specifically the cities, SO MUCH. Of course, I haven't been on the East Coast for more than two summer weeks. I really hope to go to a college or university across the country so that I can experience living in extreme weathers. It amazes me that freeways are surrounded by vibrant greenery and not dead weeds and dirt. I love that I can drive through an entire state in a day. If I do get to go East, I will miss my family, and I will miss my community and friends.
During this trip, I had many short and sweet conversations with strangers from other states and countries. I love such conversations, because oftentimes they fill me with warmheartedness for humanity. I don't know why, since many of the conversations revolve around bathroom lines, or coffee preferences. I suppose it reminds me that there are good, friendly people who exist all over.
True to my word, I have already filmed two interviews for my documentary. I have also downloaded software to my computer that seems like it has sufficient editing capabilities. My brain has really started "rolling" with ideas.
I learned that I love blogging. I won't do it every day for the rest of my life, but if I ever find myself with an opportunity like this again, I will definitely set up a blog to add to every night. I think blogging has given me a creative outlet, and has forced me to reflect.
I feel more independent, mature, self-reflective, deep-thinking, self-confident, capable, and ready for anything now that my ILC experience is over.
The changes I listed are not just positive words I randomly chose. I really truly feel an improvement, or emergence of all of them.
I have one last blog in the near future. I am going to work on it very hard, because I want to end my blogging on the best note possible.